Years ago there was an old man who decided he was getting too old to manage his own Affairs. So he handed everything over to his children. This turned out to be a bad move. Most of the children were unpleasant people and they took away the old man's money and were rude and violent towards him. He went crazy and died. That's the end the way I tell this story it only takes about 10 seconds. The way Shakespeare tells it in King Lear it eats up your entire evening and is much harder to understand nevertheless most people seem to prefer his version to mine the odd and difficult way in which he tells the story makes it not just more beautiful but more true to life. It is the difference between music and say the tax tables a difference hard to Define but hard to miss here for instance is another story once upon a time. There was a mother and a daughter who were not getting along too. Well as is often the case they decided to make an effort toAnd each other the results were mixed. That's the tax table version of the story what you are about to hear now from producer Dee Roberts is the real story much more difficult more strange and more like music, which is what makes it in the end a true story. It's called may may our daughters song. Just remember this isn't about me. It's about my mother about growing up with her. Just remember that? Basic motor vehicle big called a child's mother and I took a trip to Taiwan together my birthplace and hers. I thought it would make us closer. Help me to understand her better but the fights got bigger more intense. And now we don't speak to each other. I don't know when I started calling her mother. It was a conscious decision though to go from mama would all Asian daughters called their mothers to the more formal mother I guess. No, I know I was ashamed of her the way. She embarrassed me in public calling out my name from the other end of a Kmart store yelling at the top of her lungs everyone in Taiwan yells. I understand that at least now. Other mothers were reserved educated went to PTA meetings bake cookies. I pronounced for Quark because my mother couldn't say apps very well English wasn't my first language, but then I forgot my first language. My mother never read to me because she didn't know how to read or write. I was different half Taiwanese. It was always an isolating thing to tell my friends Stranger than all the fairy tales of the mothers told their kids. a story There once was a girl who lived in a poor Village during a time of drought one day while Gathering bundles of sticks for firewood. She heard someone singing high in the mountains. She followed the sound and discovered a beautiful woman singing near the edge of a lake. I am the daughter of the Dragon King. She said the peasant girl said beside the Young singer and talk to her Village and his need for water. My father keeps the key to the gates of this Lake if you sing with me, perhaps then the gates might open. It's in Taiwanese. Maymay means little sister. It's a term of endearment for any little girl but there are no pictures of my mother as a little girl. No, baby pictures no pictures at all until she was grown up. She was born in 1932 right before World War II sold by her own parents not just once but twice to work for other people her stepparent. She called them. How long ago was it last time you were in Taiwan? I told you 25 year while you want to repeat try to pretend you haven't told me anything. Okay, just try to pretend that. It'll make it a lot easier. So how come they sold you? I don't know. I'll find out I Sketti safe because today they can they cannot take care of me. Was it really sold or was it just adopting these say they saw her for how much less Japanese in 20 in 20 Yen. I don't know they need the money. How did you feel? I don't have any feel, you know, I don't have a feel. I don't have any feelings. I don't care. I don't care nothing. I can do. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm the only human being on this Earth who understands everything. My mother says in English the subtleties the undertones the quotation marks that underlie her words people may get every other word, but I hear everything. They may think she's cute when she's angry sweet when she's manipulative simple when she is truly devastated. But I understand everything the words that is. Why are your fingers are crooked your fingers so crooked I asked that once your hands are strong and beautiful with long fingernails, but you can never completely straighten your fingers reaching top Jenny one. My real parents told me there were poor. I was two years old in Chinese age when you're old in American time. I was sort of ice twice. I was sold the first parents were not unkind we're not laughing were not unkind again. I was sold Shibuya in Taiwanese chinois, but daughter daughter-in-law that so to marry the son in the family. I was 12. Mwah. What is your name? We're going to shampoo at you with such a simple ha. They sold her she's never felt secure never loved never happy. She could never show love the way I saw on TV with American families with words with physical affection. The only thing I ever wanted to hear from her was honey. You're beautiful and I'm proud of you. I never heard those words. No one said those words to her when she was growing up. Of course, I can never say those words to her. And I can never show love in the ways that matter to her. For the sense of Devotion to act as the dutiful Taiwanese daughter. That was not part of me. It's not about you. She beat me if the clothes were not crazy speed to me still Chopsticks, but your chopsticks for my hand in between and squeezed and squeezed my fingers. Why are my fingers are crooked? Shh? No, I didn't touch anyone. I don't have a feel just like I don't care nothing like a noob. Maybe it's not your time yet. Not your time many. This gonna work out MCH soon. When I was growing up, I used to listen. Actually I used to not listen to my mother's Taiwanese Opera records the noise filled the house. It was an embarrassing sound from especially when she sang along the banging of gong's clanging of instruments really irritated me Quang Quang. That's what Daddy called it Quang Quang. I used to think it was a Taiwanese word for Opera, but it means loud noises disruptions. Out noises who's always a sound of battles in her house The Clash of cultures between my Taiwanese mother and my Oklahoma country boy father was not quiet later my mother and I would Clash would fight. We talked to Johnny. She don't join us and talk to Calvin. You understand and I came to understand that the clanging of the Opera was not just clanging. It was the sound of battle a call for warriors to come to the fight. Lydia come down here attending they have to see would always take me to heaven and I see that it's different people over there know how I don't see any tweet something, you know, like the sky beautiful different but you don't see Floyd. I seem like you stand up there. It won't fall. They just look like it all Smoky, you know and all different color people. I didn't want to come by but she said you should come by you not tell me and I've been told yeah. Yeah, and then yeah. She used to talk about budda budda. Budda, the lady budda budda, budda, budda, the lady Buddha. Her name was guanine posa. She sounded Beauty sounded beautiful. But long hair piled up High dressed in white dress a lady Buddha the lady Buddha. She sounded beautiful. There was war history and or changing speed me with a bamboo stick. My mother my older brother. I carried old in bundles on my back. I washed clothes. I cooked I scrub the floors. I kept the fire burning inside the house. There was war he's to not changing. Did you see any bodies you always see somebody hang it on my head on the counter for a while you always yeah, you always see somebody hanging around my head on the counter from wall hanging they hang on hang on. Hang on. Hang on. They they got machine gun. They gotta 50 kg bomb. I think B25 B-29 always get to get one's missing got one 250 kid a bum. She made me eat everything on my plate whether I liked it or not whether I was hungry or not. If I refused she told War Stories how when she was 10 years old. She had watched the maggots away from the rice before cooking it that really made me want to eat my dinner. When it was bad when it was bad. We ran to the mountains ran to hide so little food I ate so little I ate after they age rise some vegetables no means when the food was gone. We came down from mountains to get more food. I remember planes shooting at us. The American plans will shoot at the Japanese will shoot at us as we rang shooting at us. There was a rich family. She said he had a bomb shelter underground. She begged him to let her in. Why don't ya only room for us but we are what we are I hit my hands against the door a plan b 29 B25 B-29. I ran behind me and explosion the family's shelter. I wouldn't look I didn't look I knew I had seen arms and legs hanging before until from wires and electric poles eyes in pieces of bodies before I knew Iran, but I gave me power one of the top you want to stay. When impasse that's a whole name 1 million Pasa, we talked the Chinese. You don't don't understand talk to Kevin. You don't understand. It's it's it's called Nelson going to you understand me son come to know but you can tell me about it. We talked to the Chinese. You don't don't understand talk to Calvin. You don't understand. I was hanging and Buddhist art me Buddha gave me power. She said it's not your time yet. I still think and 14 at what as soon as I tweet. I'm gonna hang us you try to hang yourself. Yeah, three times. How come this I didn't want to let that's why I come don't think it isn't happy to live on. No. It's terrible the terrible thing to do. The Buddha has come stop me. So blah. Give me a par. How did you stop you? I don't know how to explain it. He come down. Hey, but did you actually tie a rope up? Yeah. I brought a come downtown Meadows. You were hanging. Yeah, and she turned you loose like calm down. Stop me. Did she say anything or do anything? Yeah, what'd she say? Y'all mean? I'm dumb but I'm gonna be like a long way to go. That's why I like apart from Buddha pointing the toe. The first time I tried to kill myself. I was 13 years old. I tied a sheet to the ceiling in a circle. I put my head in circle. I was hanging and Buddha stop me. I was hanging and put that stop me Buddha gave me power. She said it's not your time yet. But my life was terrible. I tried to hang myself three times and each time. Would I stop me then? I would fall asleep and dream of her guanine pasa. How do I live? So beautiful, so beautiful become so beautiful. I let me Genesis Genesis, Genesis Genesis. She took me to Heaven I flew up and out my feet never touch the ground her feet never touch the ground and I saw heaven so beautiful. So beautiful. So beautiful all different colors of people. No houses. No trees just beautiful clouds. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to go back, but she said I had to I didn't want to go back, but she said it wasn't my time yet. run run run So how does Buddha talk to you, maybe tongue I sweep here and join me. Taking me someplace teach me how to fly Johnny Susan Johnny sweet junsu. Did she say anything or do anything? Yeah, what'd she say? Johnny? No longer gonna be like a long way to go. That's what I kept apart from Buddha convert. All right. Runaways a long after the war in 1945. There was even more poverty even less food girls. Then just didn't leave their families, but she did I had to admire her guts. I remember a fiery young woman when I was five. I once disrupted a whole Taiwanese police station because someone stole our suitcases God the way she fought People were hanging out the window to watch My Mother fighting the police. Later on. I adopted that fierceness when we fought together yet. I protected her from the people who didn't understand her made fun of her accent try to treat her as a simple child. She was not. I had and still have this Fierce loyalty to my mama. 15 years old I could not feel hate could not feel hurt but not feel run away must run away thoughts out eating. I told her they wanted to send me away to be prostitute. I never went to school always work work always must through never learn to speak Chinese to read and write once I was sick with malaria from a mosquito bite sick. So sick. I nearly died sick so sick, but they would not spend money for dr. Ron Brother. In Taiwan cemeteries are built on hills and from a distance the Tombstones resemble eyes and mouths doorways from this world into the underworld Pastor the cemetery midnight. Is he the young don't see the girls face? Somebody have a wheel long sit on top of the stone. They don't want to see you shouldn't go to see it kill you. You never know. Tamam. Thank you alot of Korea nighttime. There are ghosts and nighttime. I work six hours in the dark. No lights. You must not Father's ghost in the night time. If you see a woman weeping a cemetery the beautiful woman with long black hair falls to the ground. Do not bother her. She's a ghost if she turns to look at you her tongue were rolled down from her mouth. You would die in fear. Do not bother a ghost Tim and Gareth. Acquia. I started doing housework when I was seven years old. I cooked and dishes I wasn't careful. So I broke things mother screamed at me and Taiwanese then an English Bank me scared me. These are times, I truly thought she was insane She's the only person who could totally incense me as a teenager. I remember her screaming at me about something and I was washing a knife and for a minute. I imagined. But I stopped myself. Scared me that I'd even thought such a thing. Maybe Buddha was there for her that night too later. I learned that her outbursts were the result of not being able to communicate or frustration in this foreign language this foreign country. Hoping to live the rich American life. She would always have to work still works and she wanted a daughter who would be her partner who would help her run that Chinese restaurant of her dreams someone who could read and write who could keep the books who could speak and be taken seriously. And that was never me. It's The lady look at me. She asked if I would work for her as a housemaid if I work she would pay me should pay my train to get a type-a. She would pay me. Welcome to the Beyond sway over Cuba qingdao. Buddha was there that night Buddha the woman paid my train ticket and I went away with her Buddha was there with me that night. She said MMA is not your time yet. May your time yet? Why not? She told me it's not my time yet in my tum. Come back to my home a story. So the two girls sang together at the edge of the great Mountain Lake the dragon Kings daughter and the peasant girl from the village the music was so lovely the gates to the lake opened slowly releasing the much-needed water to the villagers. The two girls looked at one another and laughed they had saved the village, but they had also become friends. I didn't know my mother didn't care for it. You must hate her. I don't hear I don't hate her. I can't talk to her. I'll never understand her the love is there because it has to be she's my mother. I wish what? And she had been happy growing up so somehow she didn't pass on her desperation her sadness her legacy to her selfish American daughter. I wish. Maybe then we might have been friends need tie-dye files that I need. The one time we laugh together the hardest on a trip to Taiwan. I had to tell the upstairs neighbors to be quiet. So I spoke in a combination of broken Chinese and sound effects still need I did. I don't know. I know he's saying, who's she thought it was the funniest thing she ever heard. Timmy boy out our yeah we got the laughter lasted longer than any bad memory I ever held on to