Twin Cities poet Roseann Lloyd reads from her work as part of a series of readings presented by COMPAS. She read in conjunction with novelist Alice Walker at The Saint Paul Hotel.

The poet is introduced by David Mura.

Transcript:

(00:00:00) Roseanne is taught in the compass writers in the schools program for the past three years. She is a poem coming out in a coming issue of sinister wisdom GSN poems published in Cut bang the Greenfield review and the Montana poets an anthology. She is also a former editor of sing Heavenly Muse a minnesota-based feminist literary journal. Roseanne mentioned to me this week that her favorite comment on a work was made by our teacher Madeline defries were marked Roseanne's mind as a tropical jungle. What I think to freeze man to set Roseanne's work has a marvelous fecundity a profusion of energy and ability to out leap and he attempt order it neat rows or plots like the title of a poem shall be reading tonight. Roseanne's work often functions as an exorcism an exorcism built on the beat of chant. Sometimes he's chance present A daughter's fear of growing old. Sometimes they Mock and banish that male Spirit which wants more more good. More power more sex, sometimes they charge the reader to give up the pasted smile of grip it my throat suffer in silence. Never mind. Always they are chance of change chance to Revel in the rhythm of Hope rather than sink into depression and numbness. It is a public communal music. Roseanne is exploring and I'm looking forward to hearing her presented. Ladies and gentlemen Roseanne Lloyd Thank you, David.
(00:01:46) I'm happy and honored to be reading here tonight with Alice Walker her writing has given me many gifts. The first poem I'll read is a poem to welcome the change of season. Outside and inside deep winter has taken us over. The Russians have a word for deep winter ruski. Azima. We're so cold. Our breath looms us larger than our frames which have already grown up fat and stout leathered bulwarks against the cold. We're so cold are rigid shoulders turned to the nose for Direction, but there's no spoor to sniff in this alien cold. We're so cold. Our mental state brittle doesn't track. All the facts are thick tongues talks can't D ice wind skid chill we're so cold hard pressed for easy breathing. Our engine chokes. It's fat belly wines for Cadbury bars art song chicken wings to go. It's cold here real cold. We're so cold. We're heavy with sleep. We must numb our desires Harden into our shells unlike our children who danced their eager voices out into the snow where they lie down to rest in the drifts murmuring were so cold where the frost seeks permanence branding on it. Each cheek a silver. Oh It's cold here real cold. We're so cold. We're heavy with sleep. If only we weren't so exhausted. If only the exhaust from the other machines would make this engine sing. If only a chinook would blow Us free and clear the metal impervious to cold. It's cold here real cold. We're so cold were heavy with sleep. We must Nam our desires lift our heavy machines again our mood another 500 feet. We must cruise over all of Greenland and dig out the Sleepy children with our bare cold hands. It's cold here. We are so cold we are heavy with sleep are thick tongues. Tell us it's got to be all right cleared for takeoff. These Wings heavy with sleep my co-pilot murmurs Larry we're falling and yes, we're falling to sleep lifting and falling over Greenland to I see sleep. We hit the ground our legs come back running our bare feet free of wool and steel and cold and we're not cold anymore. We're running off this Glacier running down to the green land even faster than our dogs down to the weeds and grasses where we bury our faces role in the smell of green our bodies breathe deep loosen. Our soft ourselves noses growing thick in the yellow fuzz of chamomile. And we exhale the word vegetation. As if we'll talk and run forever as if we're young. As if Garden were our mother
(00:06:02) tongue.
(00:06:20) All poems are gifts, but the ones that are special gifts are the ones you steal when you copy down the words just the way the people say them.
(00:06:33) Here's one of
(00:06:34) those. Eavesdropping from the other room. I hear my brother's daughter tell my daughter The Facts of Life. When you get more Nana, the first father is the legal father unless you get adopted. So you don't have to worry the way I do. Because you're already adopted and Rosie's your legal mother and your real mother and that woman you were born from she's your body mother. Geez, Lisa. I already know that you know it to you know, I call Rosie my real mom that other one I call her my old home. Before I came here I lived in her. I had to live somewhere. Did you think I came from the Sun? Eavesdropping from the other room. I want to say yes and hug them both, but I don't They already know it. They already know we played here comes the sun over and over when they were born Little Darlings littlest pigtail already half grown on Abbey Road, Nina Simone. They already know the day John Lennon got shot. I cried out no in bed cried out for the child. He lost his losing now. Sway by a flash of fire pieces of lead. And we praise the morning Radiance each day. We live to see our children live. Wherever they came from old son home. Already giving birth to their own separate lives already being born away. something funny happens when children turn 10 They seem to become opinionated critical of adults and disgusted. This was getting rather hard to live with so I wrote a poem in their Collective voice of disgust. The Grouse poem you haven't heard it yet. Oh gross
(00:09:56) Mushi tofu.
(00:09:59) Tomato guts the Flesh of pumpkin a rabbit skinned and put in the pot. There's fur in the water. Don't let it touch me my it's gross. Here in the bathtub here on my toothbrush hair in my mother's armpit. All the old ones are hairy big legs big
(00:10:32) butts. Big boobs.
(00:10:35) Don't sit on their lap. You'll get smothered to death by their bad breath. They Because they eat shrimp drink wine and smoke cigarettes and that's not the worst of it. The old ones kill animals. They don't even care. They laugh about
(00:11:00) boogers.
(00:11:02) Say the F word. Smooch each other on the mouth and at night they snore and groan and make funny smells.
(00:11:20) Babies
(00:11:22) are just as
(00:11:23) bad. Whatever you do. Don't look at them when they eat their
(00:11:31) food runs back out of their
(00:11:35) mouth.
(00:11:38) They will also smear wet crackers on your
(00:11:42) shirt.
(00:11:45) I'm glad I'm not one of them anymore. I suppose the reason my mother could stand to take care of me then is because she is so fat and
(00:11:57) gross.
(00:12:03) I'm happy the way I am now. Comb my hair just right feathered talk. My turtleneck tight inside my jeans. I eat only apples alfalfa sprouts cheese and separate plasti wrap bread that Slim reminds me how I'm skinny my muscles strong as any boy. I can make perfect angels in the snow at night coyote and me run the woods call out to the Moon never. Never grow old never grow old.
(00:12:56) Thank you.
(00:12:58) When we give poetry readings at The Loft people don't clap till the end. It's really it's really nice. If you hang around kids, you know, they'll they take over your life and they may take over your
(00:13:19) poems
(00:13:22) the nursery rhymes got into me on this one subject. And yes, this is the one someone asked for poor him. What a wonderful bird the Frog are when he sit he stand almost when he hop he fly almost. He ain't got no sense. Hardly ain't got no tail hardly either when he sits he sit on what he ain't got almost that's the nursery rhyme. Poor him wants more and more poor him ain't got enough of what him God's hardly him wants Happy House kids over make pies party party laughs cemented him say give me more than too much kids. They dress up real nice go gut tree poor him. Say more movies. They go movies him. Say why you never go stores. They go shop shop. We're him say how come you buy this bed? I don't got no more money poor him poor him her. Say what you want most poor him. Him say me want
(00:14:44) spontaneity. Go
(00:14:47) Cafe eat cheap cheese more wine. They go galleries for free poor him. Say give me more cheap sex in daytime. They do it today poor him say too much stuck at home her take him walk like poor him goes boring nature poet
(00:15:06) shit. Give me more.
(00:15:12) Give me more parties pies kids laughs a minute shop shop More Money More cheap sex poor him poor him poor him work hard do more above and beyond hardly never complain. Never say mad. Sad glad hoard it all up poor him. Don't cry. No way Jose him not why neither don't confide nobody where it hurt. It don't hurt because her hop to It hurry hurry hopping frog busy not this not that for the boss a say. So as in I gots to say so over how much less and more not
(00:15:54) enough
(00:15:56) poor him gets more and more her gets lots of less her hop so much not enough her shrink. Tiny her frog tail getting to be was tail wagon and stomping on. Long sliding down that old hole of less than herself till what's more our nothing left poor him sit on what he ain't got hardly him God's vim and vigor. Hang on life and limb, but it's too late poor him. Poor him peek over the gone. Know her where her used to be. Did her hop till her fly or sink till her swim poor him mutter, her not gone enough. Hardly me take Cuisinart. Go
(00:16:50) check out polliwogs.
(00:16:53) They give me they give me more poor him. Talk it up pour him. Talk Marathon mutter mutter rattle on poor him do carry on ain't got no sense. Hardly sitting there talking gimme gimme. In that bright shining light all gone in that bright shining light all gone. If you get in a situation where you find yourself hopping frog busy it, maybe somebody taught you you were supposed to be nice. Lots of us were supposed to be nice. That's why I wrote Exorcism of
(00:18:00) nice.
(00:18:05) I don't know since I didn't grow up here. It was more obvious to me when I moved up here that Minnesota has a real Glide to the word nice.
(00:18:18) I can't quite do it. But
(00:18:20) that's the way I wish I could say the title. Mum's the word taciturn talk polite appropriate real nice talk polite short and sweet. Keep it down quiet down. Keep the lid on hold it down. Shut it down. Shut up. Chin up bottle up drink up uptight tied up in knots tight-lipped. Hold tight tongue-tied. Hold your tongue hold still hold it back. Hold it in hold your cards close to the chest close-mouthed muzzled gagged garbled jammed up all wrapped up tied up. Shut up za It out tucked in caved in locked in. incoherent in articulate autistic in a Shell Shell Shocked thunder struck dumb struck deaf and dumb stupefied shutdown stunned Oh Wicked mother of the kingdom of Silence. I have obeyed you long enough.
(00:20:10) Thank you. This is
(00:20:16) certainly going faster than I thought. To balance the power of the voice of the wicked mother who wants us to be nice. I've worked on a poem to conjure a good mother who gives us a voice each person. the trouble with setting out to do something that Were you have a goal in mind is that the images that come out? Maybe the ones you absolutely did not expect and that's the case in this poem. Oh a poem of exhortation. It is reported that WC feels that fat old mother of speak. Your mind was outrageous even on death's bed. When I think of all my money, I think of all the little orphans who could use some change then on the other hand I say fuck mm
(00:21:31) it is it is
(00:21:33) reported. That when women Lay Dying they do not curse 90% murmur. Oh. When women lay beaten it is said they cover their faces and murmur. Oh Opaque cream smoothes a new skin of the face trustee Bloom mascara fastens eyes to innocence the arch to the browse alerts intelligence and sweet bright red holds the mouth perpetually open and it's perpetual. Oh This mask is strong and real like life, but more reliable. It will not tick or flutter. It will not show fear or other motion except for its mouth offering up the Cheery. Oh and the name of this mask is mild pretty now never mind. The name of the Mask is suffer in silence carry on. The name of the smile is looking good. The name of the mouth is sorrow. Oh, she said when he sucker punched her in the bar. Oh, she said again on the heating pad in bed. Oh, she breathed into the world thin puffs of disbelief Never Enough air for one clear sound for yes for no for let me think that over. Oh the half-size I breath that's not enough giving in even as it goes. And the name of the breath is scared to death and the name of death is suffer in silence china doll in the name of the doll is little mother of disbelief. And the name of her mouth is sorrow if you break a doll, it does not cry out to the neighbors help me. If you take a doll to WC Fields movies, it mutters badmouth trash. If you win dad all up it sings victim once victim twice. I'd rather be beaten and scared all my life. The name of this song is raggedy wife. Another name is Catch My Breath and the name of death. And the name of death is dragged out breath. The name of death is porcelain doll. The name of the doll is lost the name of her smile is sorrow. And when it expires that last devoted, oh, it won't hurt at all the practiced half breath giving in even as it goes for the name of her mask was lifelong gasp. The name of her life was hold back breath the name of breath was wind-up doll and Ava Marie song was fear stay away and the name of her mouth was sorrow. But the name of mother is spit it out. The name of mother is curse your death that fat old mother called love yourself enough will give you breath enough to say what you need to say. beginning with old say with full slow breath say mother. I'm scared. He hit me. Say mother he touched me funny. Mother don't turn your face away. For the name of mother is more than breath enough. The name of breath is lots more left and your breath will carry you beyond your death your breath will give sorrow another name Sorrows name was dog at my throat Sorrows name was smile pretty now. Never mind. Oh sorrow we will name you left behind. Oh sorrow when we finally named you finally we let you let us go.
(00:27:11) Thank you all.